The Anabolic Freak
The Anabolic Freak Body Building without Genetics
By Dave Palumbo
Competitive Body Builder
Q: Have you ever had “bitch tits”? It’s so embarrassing; I wont even take off my shirt. What’s the best method of dealing with this embarrassing situation?
A: The day after taking my very first injection of Susanon 250, I developed gynecomastia. I kid you not! I was traumatized. I thought to myself, “Only I get bitch tits after one shot of test.”
I, Too, felt so embarrassed by this condition that the very next day, I made an appointment with a plastic surgeon. Dr. Mordcai Blau, who has since become a great friend of mine, skillfully removed all the glandular tissue from my chest without leaving a single scar. Before you go for any surgery, though, please heed the following advice.
First of all, don’t consume any of the following drugs, supplements, or foods at least two to three weeks prior to surgery or else you’ll turn this relatively simple surgery in a nightmarish blood bath: NSAIDs (non-steroidal anti-inflammatories) such as ibuprofen, Celebrex, Vioxx or Aspririn; Vitamin E; feverfew; fish oil pills; yohimbine; ginseng; gingko biloba; ginger; ephedra; garlic; or any meal replacement shake that contains any of the above ingredients. It’s no fun lying in a pool of your own blood. It’s even less fun when the doctor starts to panic and wonder why he can’t stop you from bleeding. What’s the least fun of all is being awake during this whole ordeal.
Another interesting fact to be aware of before going into gynecomastia surgery is that St. John’s wort, valerian root and kava kava may prolong the effects of some anesthetics and impair awakening (this means you might not wake up). Therefore, just to be safe, anything that comes in a bottle (whether is be vitamins, herbs, protein powders, or even recreational drugs) should be avoided. Additionally, since anabolic steroids increase blood clotting time, as well as blood pressure, it would be wise to stop the use of them for at least four weeks prior to surgery.
Another important facet of the surgery to discuss with your doctor is the fact that, as bodybuilders, we require all glandular tissue be removed. If any breast tissue is left behind, there’s a very good chance it will eventually enlarge and cause additional lumps to form under the nipple; therefore, it’s vital that your surgeon take everything out. Unlike the average male chest that might possible suffer from a depressed nipple due to the space left behind after the glands are removed, bodybuilders have such large, thick, pectoralis muscles that removal of their glandular tissue presents no such problem.
One final warning: Make sure you rest and don’t overexert yourself in the first few days post surgery. In other words, going back to work at a gym- putting away 45-pound plates and stray dumbbells- isn’t a very wise idea. That’s what landed me in the hospital the day after my gynecomastia surgery. Another silly practice is plunging a clogged toilet bowl after getting home from your second trip to the hospital. This foolish act resulted in a third trip to the hospital from which I woke up with IV lines in my arm, drainage tubes in my chest and wrist and ankle restraints on my hands and feet. Not fun! The moral of this sordid tale is to make sure you heed my advice and approach this relatively simple surgical correction procedure with knowledge, foresight and a ride home.
Dr. Blau has operated on over 500 top amateur and professional body builders. He is, without a doubt, the most experienced gynecomastia surgeon in the country. Located in White Plains, Westchester, New York, Dr. Blau’s office can be reached at (914)-428-4700. His email is: firstname.lastname@example.org and his website is www.cosmetic-md.com.